World War D – When date night goes oh so wrong

It sounded spontaneous, romantic, an opportunity to do something we don’t usually do. Laurence booked a babysitter and we were going to get out of the house. Then the comedy of errors began.

First, being as stingy as I am, I insisted we went out on Wednesday, not Tuesday as he’d proposed as we never take advantage of Orange Wednesdays. And now I think we never will.

We got to the cinema and it was ridiculously packed – with people I’m sure were not paying a babysitter in a desperate attempt to get out once in a while. We’d not been able to book online and get the two for one deal for some reason so we laid our fate before the entertainment gods. They were not with us.

It could have been OK if we’d got there earlier but of course, if you ever depend on your child going to bed at a certain time, they won’t. I spent 45 minutes of the sitter’s time at our house, feeding, rocking, willing Talitha to sleep. We eventually left her wide awake with the sitter whom she didn’t know (another error as it meant I left worried – though she was fine) and hoped for the best.

Well. The film we’d wanted to see was This is the End. It was sold out for the next few viewings. I didn’t want to see Despicable Me 2 as I’ve not seen the first one. It came down to a choice between sitting on bean bags scrunched up at the very front of the theatre watching the unpromising The Internship or going to see World War Z in 3D.

If only one of us had taken a moment to think about what the Z stood for. If I ever watch another zombie film it will be too soon. I spent the whole time jumping or on edge. Laurence kept asking if I was OK and suggesting that we could leave. But we’d paid so I felt committed to the course.

I’ve come out of that with two things. 1. When paying for childcare, make sure you get all the other details right. It’s worth paying a bit extra to do so. 2. All these zombie films are the same.

I mean, how, how, how do they keep getting made? Does someone go to investors and say: “Man, I want to make another zombie film but this one is totally different because the cure is X” and do they say: “That is TOTALLY original! Let’s book Brad Pitt”?

I want to say at least it was a bit of escapism but it’s not a world I would’ve wanted to escape to. On the way back I tried to console Laurence: “We’re not always going to get it right. These things happen.” He replied: “Zombies happen.” I think that’ll be our new turn of phrase for really rubbish dates.