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Love and Marriage

It was our sixth wedding anniversary on Saturday. We’re not great at doing much to celebrate it. Twice we made a huge effort. On our first we went glamping in Pembrokeshire. Come to think of it, that’s the only anniversary we’ve had sans kiddos. Hadn’t realised that until about now. Another time we went to Harptree Court, mainly because we were expecting Ophelia and it was a last/first chance to spend a night just the two of us before starting the newborn thing all over again. But we’re pretty sure

Tomorrow is our wedding anniversary. Was it really six years ago that my arms and hands were covered in mehndi, my lengha hanging in the cupboard, ready for a walk down a country church aisle? I barely slept that night or many of the ones before it. I remembered this when we wondered how one of Laurence’s cousins might be feeling in the lead up to her own wedding earlier this summer. Looking back, I doubt I’d change anything about our wedding day. Perhaps we could have spent less money

Laurence proposed to me on Maracas Bay (pictured above) in Trinidad. We were on holiday there for Carnival. I knew it was going to happen at some point but I didn’t know when. Apparently I gave him little opportunity as I hardly ever agreed to being alone, saying that we needed to see friends and family – not at all on purpose, mind! He found this a total nightmare and eventually insisted we take a walk down the beach on our own. I actually started to argue with him about

Laurence and I took a marriage preparation course back when we were engaged (the image above is from our honeymoon when we were loved-up enough to be at ease with couple selfies). One of the activities was to take a quiz to find areas we needed to discuss. When we went through the results with the couple who were mentoring us, every statement regarding finances was highlighted as an area we’d disagreed about or just weren’t settled on. It’s come as no surprise, then, that money has been a major

So I got up this morning somehow 28. It’s my birthday today. Really, 18 does not feel a decade ago, even though everything has changed in that time. I’ve been reflecting on what’s changed and what hasn’t. It’s made me think about what I want my daughters (who have been the biggest change in my life) to know about what maturing means. Ten years ago, I was learning to drive. Today, I’m still learning. In fact, I have another driving test tomorrow. I’m actually in a pretty good place with

Follow my blog with Bloglovin Four years ago, I made big promises to this guy and to God, before our family and friends. It’s still one of the best decisions I’ve made in life, the start of a real adventure. Photos by Courtenay Photographic. You can see more of the set here. Two years ago, we were joined by this little person. And now we’re expecting to be joined by another. So, we realised that we better get it in quick before February if we wanted to have a romantic

I passed the “Life in the UK” test on Saturday. It’s a good job I did because my marriage visa expires this week and I need to apply for permanent residence before it does. So, appropriately, I started studying on, oh, Tuesday. Nothing like a last minute rush to put the fear of God in you, right? I think I have a problem. I need Procrastinators Anonymous or something. But, darn it, I’m lucky. Or greatly blessed. To be fair, quite a lot of what I needed to know was

I’ve instinctively struggled with the idea of gendered roles in marriage since we got engaged two years and two months ago. I’d like to think I’m closer to settling the matter in my mind by now but every time I turn a corner I find myself pausing, uncertain of where to go.

I often joke that Laurence is the real grownup in this marriage and that I’m still working out this adult thing. I may have the book sense but he’s got the infinitely more valuable practicality. But every now and then I realise just how much I depend on him, and it’s not something I’m altogether comfortable with.

I don’t have a problem with it. I understand that immigration needs to be controlled… What I always find hard, though, is feeling a little bit like a criminal going through the process or at least like I’m begging to stay here – just a teeny weeny bit.

As a younger teen I often bragged that I would never get married and certainly never have children. Mostly, I got a kick out of making controversial statements. I also considered myself a feminist (still do) and naively felt that this was at odds with pursuing family life. But mainly, I saw marriages suffering all around me, with children caught in the middle, and it scared the hell out of me.