No one’s more surprised than I that we’re this far along already. In fact, the baby’s dropped lots and Braxton Hicks have started but I’m still prone to forgetting altogether that I’m pregnant. Apart from a little pelvic pain (another osteopathy treatment booked in this week – it’s been magic so far), a few mood swings and a tired period in the mid-afternoons, I feel amazingly well. Not like last time when I was falling apart by now. I’m even pencilling things into my calendar for when I’m 41 weeks, which makes me wonder if there’s a touch of denial!
Yet things are getting underway. I’ve packed my hospital bag just in case and I’m gathering things for the home birth. We have a midwife visit tomorrow morning for a home assessment. I can’t remember what it involves but I didn’t bother to get Laurence to take time off work for it this time as it didn’t seem that noteworthy.
I’ve decided not to discuss my birth plan as the chances are whichever midwife I see won’t be the one there at the birth and I’d rather not be upset by any difference of opinion. It’s not masses different from my plan last time anyway and the community midwives were generally cool about what was on it back then.
I’m re-reading The Hypnobirthing Bookby Katharine Graves and Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth. We continue to practise KG hypnobirthing techniques. I’m also listening to my birth playlist daily and allowing myself to daydream about a beautiful, secluded river we explored in Grande Riviere, in Trinidad last year. I can’t help but see lots of tropical flowers opening, hummingbirds and butterflies kissing them, as I allow myself to float in the fresh water. As it turns out, the music makes Talitha sleepy and she’s started napping again for the first time in months! I’m also burning frankincense, on our doula’s suggestion. It’s incredibly calming and uplifting.
I’m almost done washing all the baby’s clothes and nappies. The Moby Wrap is ready for action as is the Boppy breastfeeding pillow. The baby’s car seat is already plugged into the car (easiest to store it there) and the freezer is being filled with meals as I cook extra. We’ve moved a chest of drawers for the baby’s things into our bedroom.
The initial plan was for the baby and I to sleep in the master bedroom, for Talitha to sleep in her own bedroom and for Laurence to have the guest room with Talitha joining him when she wants to. But this week a nightmare sent Talitha into our room for a few nights and we realised we’d like to try all being together. So, instead, we’re mentally moving around the furniture in our room, trying to figure out how we can best make it work.
Life with Talitha carries on with days spent at the zoo, city farm and other favourite haunts, interspersed with days playing and tidying at home. Strangers keep remarking that it’s good of me to keep getting out. I take this to mean that I am huge, even though I still imagine myself with a waistline until I walk past a mirror! In fact, I’m looking at the pictures in this post and can’t believe my body looks like that, even though I can feel the reason kicking around inside me day and night.
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