40 Weeks Pregnant – Due

So today is the due date, according to our scan. Since only something like five per cent of women give birth on their due date and since my last baby was three hours’ short of being a 42-weeker, I feel like this is the one day I can completely rest in the expectation that I will not be going into labour.

Actually, I’ve been telling people from the start that the baby’s due somewhere sort of late February, early March. And I told myself that this time I was definitely not going to get impatient; I would be totally zen and whatnot. That was all well and good when my body was feeling amazing – so much energy and positivity, so much distraction with a two-year-old, so much physical relief with osteopathy. Just in this past week, it’s suddenly got a lot harder.

Exhaustion and nausea have returned almost first trimester-style. I am feeling the full weight of this heavily pregnant body. For the first time in this pregnancy, I’m experiencing pelvic girdle pain akin to that of my last and I really don’t have the money or inclination for any more osteopathy right about now. I had all these intentions for keeping active and staying out and about but, as it’s turned out, we haven’t been able to go anywhere, except once to a corner shop. Sweet Talitha keeps offering to kiss my pelvic girdle to help me feel better. What I’d really like is to nap all day long (or even for 30 minutes) but she’s not buying into quiet time this week.

I’m realising that I have to stay mind-over-matter about this, though, because the reality is that we may have another two weeks to go before we meet this new person who’s joining our family (and before I get another grown up to stay home with us for a bit). Whether we have hours, days or weeks left, I don’t want these last moments to be really crappy because I’m all grumpy and over it.

40 weeks pregnant

Yesterday, when nausea was at its worst, I found myself clock-watching, which I feel really awful about. These are the last days of having this concentrated one-to-one time with my two-year-old. Actually, make that my 32-month-old because she’s still a baby, really, even if she insists that she’s “a big girl”. We had some really fun moments together but I did end up almost losing the plot towards the end and convinced her to start the bedtime routine a little early.

I’m in a place right now where I’m not sure which I’d rather have: certainty that I’m going to give birth really soon or a set time frame for how long my child is going to keep asking me “Why?” on repeat.

On the upside, I think that this frustration is because, on some level, I feel ready. Back in June when I found out I was pregnant again, my excitement was peppered with so much worry: How would I cope with two? What would birth be like this time? Would I once again struggle to breastfeed? Could I do sleep deprivation again?

40 weeks pregnant - due

Other mothers reminded me that nine months is a long time. So much can change, and, well, so much has. I truly feel fears have been released over these weeks and I thank God for that. Talitha has grown up lots and understands more than I’d expected she would. I’m still making huge mistakes in my parenting but at least I can genuinely look back and see growth, which is something I rarely allowed myself to notice or believe before.

Even if I’m not completely ready to do this thing, I’m prepared to give it a hell of a go, anyway.

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20 Comments

  1. February 21, 2014 / 9:59 am

    I’m sure your little one will be joining you soon. Hope it all goes well! Xx

  2. February 21, 2014 / 11:18 am

    happy due date day! You look amazingly beautiful in these pictures and little Talitha looks so happy and excited! I never made it to 40 weeks in the end so I’ve not really experienced that ‘waiting’ part but I hope you manage to get some rest and chill out time as your last few days as a family of three! xx
    Fritha recently posted..Our Weekend in Pictures

    • February 21, 2014 / 7:10 pm

      Thanks! Got good encouragement from our doula to do some pampering, have started and will continue. šŸ™‚

  3. February 21, 2014 / 2:00 pm

    Congratulations on reaching your due date. I can’t help with much, but the why’s I’ve learned a little about. When my eldest was small I diligently answered all his why’s no matter what. Now I think that actually the why is often a way of saying something, when they don’t really know what to add. So I check whether the why is a real why, and ignore those that aren’t, it keeps things more sane. Hope that helps a little.
    Purplemum recently posted..Review – Gibsons My Space Adventure

    • February 21, 2014 / 7:12 pm

      Thanks, lovely. Believe me, I’ve long given up on answering all the why’s! She doesn’t actually want to know the answer. It’s like a verbal tick. Sometimes I try to reflect it back, “Why do you think?” but often that’s met with “No, I ask you why!” Other times I just move on to something else which is hit and miss as well. I’ve learned that the important thing is that I don’t get too wound up about it – and keep believing it will pass!

  4. February 21, 2014 / 2:10 pm

    You look stunning!

    And I remember all of this. I was +11 when my baby boy arrived. It is really tough. Go easy on yourself especially since youre looking after a little one on the inside and outside.

    Prayers for a smooth delivery and that you have great moments of joy with Talitha in these last days of being a Mummy to one. xo
    Brittney recently posted..As She Sees It

  5. February 21, 2014 / 3:14 pm

    Ah I can’t believe you have reached this stage already, I can still remember you announcing it. it feels like yesterday, for me anyway! You look amazing. I found the tiredness so unbearable that I used to fall asleep on the sofa whether I liked it or not. Cherry used to watch the same DVDs over and over again but at least she didn’t mind back then! x
    Jess @ Along Came Cherry recently posted..What Becomes Of The Broken-Hearted

    • February 21, 2014 / 7:13 pm

      It feels like it’s flown to me too! Yes, we did Winnie the Pooh today! Then she had a giant nap! Means she’s still up now but Laurence is home so that’s OK.

  6. February 21, 2014 / 7:37 pm

    Bar the early weeks, I really think the hardest part of my pregnancy with F was the last week. I was almost 2 weeks “late”, swollen (my feet swelled up the day after I turned 40 weeks!) and starting to wonder if I was actually pregnant after all – despite the huge belly and constant kicks! I really think the discomfort and frustration at the end is nature’s way of making us feel 100% ready for the challenge of the newborn days. By the last day I felt like I would rather have 5 years of sleep deprivation than endure one more day of being heavily pregnant! Good luck Adele – you don’t need it though, you will be fine. xxx

    • February 21, 2014 / 7:49 pm

      Such an apt way of describing it, Molly! The other day I heard someone saying that you reach a point where you don’t care if the baby has to be dragged out through your fingernails! Ha!

  7. February 21, 2014 / 8:21 pm

    You’re looking amazing – I certainly never looked that good towards the end when I was expecting Daisy! I found the last couple of weeks a tussle between wanting the pregnancy to be over and my baby to be here, and clinging to the final days alone with my eldest boy! Happy due date, you’ll be grand!
    Vicky recently posted..found: thrifted and made

  8. February 21, 2014 / 9:07 pm

    I’m keeping a close eye on the blog for news! You look lovely, and it’s great that you do feel ready – I think that’s my biggest fear! Good luck x
    abigail oliver recently posted..a good book

  9. February 21, 2014 / 11:21 pm

    I really love this post – written with true depth and heart and I just know you are going to be able to cope extremely well with everything the pregnancy, birth and a newborn throw at you. I think you look amazing by the way and what an exciting time. I really hope the nausea eases off for you in these last few days. It’s funny as I actually gave birth on my due date – really didn’t expect it but there you go šŸ™‚

    So excited for you
    Laura x
    Laura recently posted..A beautiful Bath City break

  10. February 22, 2014 / 10:48 am

    Happy Due date!! Number 1 was two days late, and number 2 was 4 days late so I know that waiting feeling! Then number three took me by surprise and came three weeks early!!

    Come on baby, I want a cuddle when I come to meet you all šŸ˜‰
    Polly Davies recently posted..Little Adventures

  11. February 23, 2014 / 8:50 pm

    Everything you’ve written transported me back to the feeling of being heavily pregnant with my second. I was desperate for him to just hurry up and make an appearance. I won’t tell you how overdue I was as it’s not very helpful, but I’m sure your second will be here soon. Lots of luck x
    Lottie :: Oyster & Pearl recently posted..8/52

  12. February 25, 2014 / 9:01 pm

    You’re looking gorgeous Adele. From a fellow mama who like to cook her babies to 42 weeks I know how you feel!

    It is a funny time, when your family is about to change so significantly. But you will be brilliant, we definitely all make mistakes but as you are experiencing, I’ve found confidence and conviction in my parenting ‘skills’ pin creases with time.

    Enjoy this special moment, and remember post birth hormones are raging! I remember having very little patience for poor LLC’s cheeky antics when her baby bro arrived. x

  13. February 26, 2014 / 10:48 pm

    A milestone!

    I’m like you – I set myself the target of 42 weeks as my ‘due date’, knowing that as I’d been ‘late’ (hate the terminology) for my first that it would be likely for my second.

  14. February 26, 2014 / 10:50 pm

    [Half a comment… I continue… ]

    I see it as a ‘due window’. Just think, you are weeks, perhaps days away from meeting your new child. AMAZING! Not long now…

    Settle yourself. Find your space in your head to greet this wonderful baby. Find a place in your home for you to feel cared for, supported and loved.

    You can do this!

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