When my second child turned three

Ophelia’s birthday was last Friday. Somehow she’s three? Actually, it make sense that she’s three because the language explosion she’s gone through in the last few months has caught us off guard. I’ll admit I was starting to wonder whether we should get her hearing checked but now she’s coming out with memories that make me realise she’s understood lots more than she could communicate for a long time. The third birthday is exciting because kids are starting to understand what a birthday is about and that they’re getting older. I get doubly emotional at Ophelia’s birthdays because it’s not…

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Half a year with three children

Delilah is seven months old and I’ve been meaning to write this post since just before she turned six months old. So that says something about how it’s all going, I guess. I feel like it’s all been a bit nonstop, with this baby and the move and a host of other unsettlers that come with family life and getting older. For the first time in five and a half years of being a mother, I genuinely feel like I want a holiday and I don’t mean anything like our family trip to Thailand back in December. I find myself…

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On leaving a place

If you follow me on Instagram you may have seen that we finally did it. We moved to Cornwall. Just over a week ago, we packed up our house, put most of our belongings into storage and drove to the holiday let we’re staying in while we wait to move into the house we are buying. The experience has been exciting and draining and about time. No more half the week without Laurence after six months of it being so. No more three-hour motorway epics each way for him, week after week. It has also been destabilising. I knew it…

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How do we nurture our children’s self esteem?

Every now and then I have one of those I-hope-I’m-getting-it-right moments. I had one of them last night in the kitchen, chatting with Laurence about awkward conversations I’ve had about home education recently. Home ed is an easy concern trigger for me because it’s so blatantly alternative. Yet I wander down this hole when thinking about a lot of my day-to-day decisions when it comes to my children, knowing there’s no sign from the sky with a clear answer. “I’m not worried about their education,” he answered. I waited for some form of “I believe in you, babe” call to…

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When everything is changing

2016 was a year I didn’t blog so much. I was tired from growing another baby. I was daunted by the task of raising my older two. I was (am?) dealing with personal grief that can’t be discussed here. I watched too many of the people I love struggle. I felt too many things. I couldn’t organise my thoughts. I didn’t know what I believed about a lot of things. Coming here often seemed inauthentic. Saying something real was exhausting and terrifying. Yet I’m still here, writing, and I can see the good things the last year gave us. 2016…

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Eight baby nice-to-haves we’ve enjoyed this time around

I almost called this list “eight baby essentials” but changed it because I don’t believe there are any essentials. Other than a sling. I don’t know how I’d do the baby thing without a sling. But then not everyone gets on with them. At any rate, many (all?) of the things on this list are definitely not essentials but they’ve all made this third time round that little bit sweeter. 1. Babywearing weather cover A babywearing accessory I could have done with the last couple of times us a babywearing weather cover. With Talitha, I wore Laurence’s oversized snowboarding jacket…

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On three months with Delilah and maybe last babies

Delilah hit thirteen weeks today. My baby isn’t a new baby anymore. Not technically. I can’t keep calling her newborn. The 0-3 month clothes are bagged up, ready to be given away. Many of the 3-6 months are going that way too. I didn’t keep the clothes last time because I wasn’t planning to have any more babies. This time I have no plans. It just doesn’t make sense to move house with lots of bags of someday maybe’s. Though I do think she’s likely our last. The thought of another pregnancy fills me with dread when I consider being…

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