Ten things that happen when you’re tandem breastfeeding

Despite the universal-sounding title, this is just how it’s gone and is going for me, breastfeeding older and younger siblings at the same time. The first thing you learn when you start asking other tandem breastfeeding mothers about their experiences is that nothing is exactly the same for everyone. No one can predict how they’re going to feel or what they’re going to need to do. We can share ideas and offer solidarity but there’s no roadmap, no rulebook. I tandem breastfed for sixteen months the first time around, until my eldest, Talitha, was four years old. Who knows how…

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Two months with Delilah

So how’s life with our third baby so far? Ask me again tomorrow. It probably depends on the day. Delilah turned eight weeks earlier this week and it never stops amazing me how much happens in such a short time with babies. I’m not even just talking about the stuff you expect with a new baby, like the high-speed growth or the suddenly meaningful smiles. Sure, she’s breaking out of her 0-3 month clothes and we’re enjoying more awake time. She’s moved well out of sleepy fetus mode and is now looking like her rather than every other newborn (actually,…

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Sixteen weeks pregnant – all the thoughts and feelings

In some ways I can hardly believe I’m sixteen weeks pregnant now. That’s only four weeks to being half way to my due date (though past experience of having “late” babies means I’m not too focused on a date, anyway). On the other hand, having found out I was pregnant at just two and a half weeks, it feels like it’s been absolutely ages. I spent the first trimester wishing the time away because of how yucky I felt. I was exhausted. I could easily sleep the afternoon away, which obviously with a four-year-old and a toddler at home, wasn’t…

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How weaning happened – the end of our breastfeeding journey

I didn’t set out to breastfeed my older daughter as long as I did. I doubt anyone gazes into the face of their newborn and imagines breastfeeding them for four years. Certainly, at the time, I felt like we’d be blessed to get to six months. When the difficulties with her tongue-tie and my low milk supply kicked in, my goal became to take it one feed at a time. By the time her first birthday came into view (a landmark I was just relieved to make), I’d learned a lot more about breastfeeding, through reading, meeting other mothers and…

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Breastfeeding while pregnant – the third trimester

I kind of wasn’t really expecting to ever write this post. I found breastfeeding in the first trimester such hard work, especially since it triggered nausea which led us to night wean. I was determined to take a “wait and see” approach, making myself no promises either way. I believe that allowing children to outgrow the need to breastfeed is such a gift but that the balance of needs between the two people in a nursing relationship naturally shifts over time. So I had mixed feelings when I thought she was weaning. During the second trimester, breastfeeding, as most things,…

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So, this may be what weaning looks like – Breastfeeding while pregnant

When I wrote about breastfeeding through the first trimester, I kind of thought it might eventually be followed by second and third trimester sequels – or at least the former. I guess I knew that chances were Talitha would wean before the new baby comes. At 26 months, she’s that bit older and her need to breastfeed is not as strong as it was. It doesn’t outbalance her distaste for the changes pregnancy has brought. So, it looks like we’re weaning. I’ve been totally cool with the prospect of continuing. That is a lie. I have been nervous about the…

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Breastfeeding while pregnant – the first trimester

I’m not sure how we got on to the topic but at some point in the midwife’s office, I mentioned that I was still breastfeeding. I didn’t look at faces for visible reactions because I was already clear on what I thought of the matter and slightly anticipated some ill-concealed negativity. I needn’t have worried. Without missing a beat, the midwife congratulated me, “Good for you!” and sounded genuine. She even offered to hand out leaflets for the breastfeeding group I’m a peer supporter at when I mentioned it. It’s usually assumed if you’re pregnant that you’re no longer breastfeeding.…

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