I started this blog back in November with a post about what I should call my fetus. It was strange time.
We didn’t have friends who had or were having babies, we’d recently moved to a new city and I was working primarily from home, which made it difficult to meet new people. So, looking back, this blog began as many do, out of isolation.
I’d blogged in the past, ranting about national identity and other abstract concepts my university self was trying to come to grips with. This blog has never been about that.
Instead it’s been rooted in a concrete and frighteningly physical fact: there is a baby growing inside me. From gasping at the ultrasound to accepting my morphing body to pondering what I want to teach my daughter, there’s been nothing particularly out of the ordinary on these pages.
Yet, writing about it has helped me to frame an experience that is simultaneously ordinary and life-changing. It’s helped me to understand what’s happening and, more importantly, to figure out that it’s not really about me. In many ways, what started as my outlet has become a love letter to this child.
And I’ve been more than a little surprised that you’ve wanted to read it. Every visit and comment has reminded me that my words aren’t just falling around me. Thank you for encouraging me when I’ve worried about money and when found I was bleeding. Thank you for walking with me as I work out what it means to become a mother.
That’s a lot to receive and I feel strange asking for anything more. But if you regularly read this blog and have a few moments spare, I’d love to be nominated for a MAD (Mums and Dads) blog award.
The form looks a little daunting but you don’t have to fill in every field if you’re not that up on your parent blogging. To make things easy, I’ll admit that I’d be particularly thrilled for Circus Queen to be nominated “Best Pregnancy Blog” or “Best New Blog”.